Television Today

I was watching the news the other day, brought to you by Paxil.
Back in the day, the news was on once a day, you either caught it, or you missed it. But no, to day it is on 24 hours a day, and as if that isn't enough you have the Anchorman talking, there is the crawl on the bottom of the screen. You are wtching that guy talk, you are reading the scroll, and then you are online, doing the polls. "NO I say to that NO"

It's even worse when you are watching th guy talk and you go back to the crawl and you catch the end of something. ". . .Madonna's left foot." What about Madonna's left foot, what about it, what happened? Then there you are waiting for it to come back 'round again then it goes to commercial. "Are you sad, are you depressed?" That damned Paxil again. There should just be one continuing crawl that says "Things are getting worse" thats all we need.

Then there is local TV, that is airing right as you are eating your dinner, there are these teases. "It could be the most deadly thing in the world and you may be having it for dinner, stay tuned for more!" What is that, there you are eating your dinner thinking ". . .Is it peas?"

Sometimes I feel sorry for the newscasters, you see we can turn it off, but they are there, reading off of the Teleprompter, going through a wide range of emotions. ". . .there were no survivors . . .and Next what Candy Bar helps you loose weight! Still to come is an . .asteroid headed towards earth, but first, Where to find the cheesiest pizza in town also a disturbing new study finds that studies are disturbing.